Can a ‘saver’ truly love an ‘entertainer’?

“Now this is more like it!” Stacy declared as she stepped onto the generous balcony of the penthouse apartment. With uninterrupted water views, it would be perfect for entertaining. Paul released her fingertips as she twirled onto the balcony. Of course this was the rental she was excited about.

She turned to face him with that gorgeous glint in her eye that he adored since they had first met, “Isn’t this so much better than that pokey shoebox a few streets back?”

That ‘pokey shoebox’ was the apartment he’d selected for today’s rental inspections. The one much more within their budget that allowed for them to accumulate some savings at the same time as moving in together.

She threw her arms around his neck and beckoned him in for an embrace on the balcony. As he moved towards her she recognized that furrow in his brow, she’d found that so attractive when they first started dating, today she read it all too easily and she couldn’t mask her disappointment.

She sighed, “I knew you would do this – this is supposed to be exciting, us moving in together, have our own place,” her words trailed off with disdain and she brushed out of his arms. She would love to share this place with him, and their friends, the ocean was so close and there was a hint of a salty, summery sea breeze.

Paul walked to where Stacy was standing, “I want this to happen too, but I also want us to be able to save some money for our own place, and we can’t do that here …” he let his words trail off, she forced herself not to face him, a reluctant yet defiant tear escaped as she blinked.

He could tell she understood the facts on this one, even if she couldn’t accept the emotions she felt.

Paul grimaced at the estate agent, declaring, “This one, just isn’t for us, it’s not sensibly within our price range”.

The agent left Paul and Stacy alone on the balcony. “I just want our place to be something a bit special,” she said. She did understand his focus on them saving for their own place was important, and it was for her too, but, oh, to finally move in together, and all that that entailed. Her dreams of falling into his arms of a night instead of messaging him from her bedroom at her parents’ place were a little crushed.

“Stacy, any place that we choose to be together will be special,” he said as he gently kissed her forehead. She playfully rolled her eyes and accepted his embrace.

As Stacy and Paul went to exit the apartment, the agent met them at the front door. “There’s another place in this complex becoming available next weekend, it’s on the level three down from here, the ocean view is a little obscured, I have the other details here,” and she handed the information sheet to them both.

Paul’s brow furrowed again as he studied the document carefully, “Yeah,” he offered, “the room sizes are a little on the small side, but it does have a walk-in robe, and the balcony is the same size as the one here on the top floor, and the asking price is the same as the pokey shoebox.”

“So, smaller place to sleep but similar space to entertain, and within budget?” Stacy asked with excitement. “Yeah, that king-size bed you’ve got your eye on won’t fit in this space though,” he said gesturing to the floor plan, “be ok for the less expensive queen ensemble though.”

A devilish smile spread across Stacy’s face, “just means I get to snuggle in a little closer to you then, hey?” Paul nearly blushed, “I guess so”, his eyes widened, “where do we apply?” he asked the agent.

Both of them now content with an outcome that met Paul’s budgetary ideals, appeased Stacy’s entertaining aspirations and satisfied their goal of being together.

A 2012 study involving over 1,500 couples found that the biggest predictor of divorce wasn’t arguments about children, housework or sex, but disagreements about money. The overall wealth of the couples made minimal difference to the outcomes of the study – as such the researchers concluded it wasn’t necessarily a lack of money causing the conflict, it was more related to individual’s underlying values being incompatible.

Dew, J et al (2012). Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615-628.