The Raw + Honest Conversation You Need to Have with Yourself

Author: Vanessa Stoykov
Category: Financial Freedom

Ask yourself what you really want in life—and what’s stopping you from getting it.

If there’s one part of this book I want you to focus on more than anything, it’s this. Everything starts with you when it comes to money. I want you to walk away with this first conversation under your belt. (It’s the most important one because, when it comes to anything in life, you’ve got to start with you.)

This conversation will build the foundation from the ground up—not just your financial well-being, but the basis for the life you really want to be living. Figuring out what you want and don’t want in life, being able to change how you think about what you can have, and taking steps in the right direction to help get you there, all starts with you.

You might think it’s not quite normal to be having a conversation with yourself. But, in my opinion, it’s crazy not to. Having conversations with yourself means giving yourself valuable time to reflect on what you truly want in your life.

Over time, we’ve learned to put ourselves second and others first—our kids, partner, parents, job, and other responsibilities tend to get the best of us. Yes, it’s important to prioritise all these people and things that are closest to us. But there comes a point in our lives where we start to treat ourselves like observers sitting on the sidelines. Even if everyone around you demands a lot of you, you’ve gotto make time for knowing yourself again. If you’ve forgotten that you are the most important player in your own life, I’m here to remind you.

You: Easy for you to say, the bills have to be paid or we don’t eat.

Me in your head: You are essential. This is true. But you also deserve to be happy.

You: I would be if I had more money. Me talking about it won’t make that happen.

Me in your head: How much do you need? Exactly.

You: Hmmm. Let me think about that.

Me: Ha. So now you are figuring out your number. Name your price.

You: She’s serious. Okay. How much do I need to be happy?

So there you have it. The big question right up front. What’s it really going to take to make your life the way you really want? Enough to never have to work?To give each of your kids a home? To buy a roof over your head and groceries for life? What’s your idea of the perfect life, and what would that cost? By making this the first conversation this book guides you through, we really start with what matters to you the most.

I guess I’m still a product of my 1973 birthday, because whenever I get asked that, I always want to say “one million dollars” in a Schwarzenegger-style accent. The reality is that most people don’t go around knowing their “number,” and it takes more than five minutes to cost out your life. And, most likely, it will be more than a million dollars, if you get real about what life costs nowadays.

You could take the time to dothe quick math on your phone or piece of paper. If you live to be ninety, what’s that life gonna look like? What would that cost?I am forty years away from that, so my number would have to pay for forty more good living years. What’s it going to cost per year of your life? That’s your number.If I say $100,000 a year for life, which doesn’t seem too greedy for my dream life, times forty years of living, that equals four million dollars. Maybe that’s why we don’t dream out loud more as we get older. Because those numbers sound too big. Unachievable. Pipe dream stuff.

This conversation is about letting go of what you think you are capable of achieving. Forgetting about what others think, and people you see on social media. It is about asking yourself: What really matters to me?

This is an extract of Chapter 1 from Vanessa’s new book. You can order it here

https://vanessastoykov.com.au/books/the-five-conversations-about-money-that-will-radically-change-your-life/

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Each day I wake up excited to inspire everyday people to open up and take control of their money, regardless of their history, goals, or savings amount. About Vanessa >>

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Authors

Vanessa Stoykov

Vanessa has been passionate about writing and storytelling since her days of hiding under the doona with her torch to read after bedtime.
Kathy Skantzos

Kathy is a yoga-loving world traveller who also happens to moonlight as a business journalist and writer. She was the finance editor of news.com.au and the Managing Editor of CEO Magazine (Asia) before joining Vanessa and the evo squad.
Shayne Sommer

Shayne is second dan black belt in karate, and a budding romance writer with a difference. Why? Because she writes romance stories that always have a money lesson.
Antoinette Colbran

Specialising in stories for 50+ women, Antoinette draws from her own experiences to help other women avoid the pitfalls and see the benefits of understanding their money situation.
Michael Crooks

Michael Crooks is a more than 20 year writer and documentary maker who has worked with Time Inc and the BBC, who wants to expose the truth from real victims of financial crime to help others avoid their mistakes.
Kim Payne

Kim Payne has spent the past three decades as a speaker, trainer, business coach, and consultant in financial services. She has worked with and transformed hundreds of brilliant, educated, high achievers who are chronically under-living.
Rebecca Pritchard

Rebecca Pritchard is on a mission to help men and women achieve equality when growing a family.
Antony Perring

Ant is a writer, designer and business builder with a love of food, design and good living. He writes on food and money in an easy to do way.
Julie Hyde

Julie Hyde is a leader of leaders. A disruptor and a powerful people enabler who empowers leaders to make big things happen.
Joshua Pennell

As a Dad to four kids and a business owner, Josh is passionate about family and finances and is known as The Family Finance Guy.
Sid Lal

Sid is a serial entrepreneur who set up his first business when he was still in University. Since 2009 he has been heading Bruce Clay, first in India & more recently in Australia.
Lou Johnson

Lou Johnson believes in the power of sharing stories to build empathy, understanding and connection. Growing up surrounded by books and storytelling, alongside her drive to make a difference led her to a highly successful career in book publishing.
David Rae

Dave is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional and has been a financial adviser since 2003. He works with a range of clients and has a strong focus on ethical and sustainable investing.
Natallia Smith

Natallia specializes in assisting pre-retiree single women—whether they are never married, widowed, separated, or divorced—understanding deeply the importance of financial stability during life's pivotal moments such as separation, divorce, retirement, and the loss of a loved one.
Mark Hoy

With over 15 years of experience in financial services, Mark established Wollemi Wealth Management in 2013. His business is built almost entirely on referrals and word of mouth — a testament to the trust, integrity, and long-term relationships he forms with his clients.
Derek Gascoigne

Derek Gascoigne is the State Manager for UniSuper Advice in Victoria and Tasmania. Derek has been with UniSuper for over 15 years, and his career in superannuation and financial services spans 27 years and counting.
Annika Bradley

Annika Bradley is Head of Advice Strategy, Research & Technical at UniSuper. She brings over 20 years of experience across investments and wealth management in both the public and private sectors.
Wayne Leggett

Wayne has been a recipient of numerous industry awards and was one of the first to qualify as a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). He has been heavily involved in industry affairs at the highest level, including serving as national president of the Association of Financial Advisers (now FAAA).
Conrad Francis

Conrad Francis is the Founding Director of Inspired Money, a Perth-based financial coaching and financial planning, mortgage broking and money coaching firm he established in 2011.
Andrew Beks

Andrew Beks is a Chartered Accountant and the founder of Simplified Business and Accounting.