The Raw + Honest Conversation You Need to Have with Yourself

Ask yourself what you really want in life—and what’s stopping you from getting it.

If there’s one part of this book I want you to focus on more than anything, it’s this. Everything starts with you when it comes to money. I want you to walk away with this first conversation under your belt. (It’s the most important one because, when it comes to anything in life, you’ve got to start with you.)

This conversation will build the foundation from the ground up—not just your financial well-being, but the basis for the life you really want to be living. Figuring out what you want and don’t want in life, being able to change how you think about what you can have, and taking steps in the right direction to help get you there, all starts with you.

You might think it’s not quite normal to be having a conversation with yourself. But, in my opinion, it’s crazy not to. Having conversations with yourself means giving yourself valuable time to reflect on what you truly want in your life.

Over time, we’ve learned to put ourselves second and others first—our kids, partner, parents, job, and other responsibilities tend to get the best of us. Yes, it’s important to prioritise all these people and things that are closest to us. But there comes a point in our lives where we start to treat ourselves like observers sitting on the sidelines. Even if everyone around you demands a lot of you, you’ve gotto make time for knowing yourself again. If you’ve forgotten that you are the most important player in your own life, I’m here to remind you.

You: Easy for you to say, the bills have to be paid or we don’t eat.

Me in your head: You are essential. This is true. But you also deserve to be happy.

You: I would be if I had more money. Me talking about it won’t make that happen.

Me in your head: How much do you need? Exactly.

You: Hmmm. Let me think about that.

Me: Ha. So now you are figuring out your number. Name your price.

You: She’s serious. Okay. How much do I need to be happy?

So there you have it. The big question right up front. What’s it really going to take to make your life the way you really want? Enough to never have to work?To give each of your kids a home? To buy a roof over your head and groceries for life? What’s your idea of the perfect life, and what would that cost? By making this the first conversation this book guides you through, we really start with what matters to you the most.

I guess I’m still a product of my 1973 birthday, because whenever I get asked that, I always want to say “one million dollars” in a Schwarzenegger-style accent. The reality is that most people don’t go around knowing their “number,” and it takes more than five minutes to cost out your life. And, most likely, it will be more than a million dollars, if you get real about what life costs nowadays.

You could take the time to dothe quick math on your phone or piece of paper. If you live to be ninety, what’s that life gonna look like? What would that cost?I am forty years away from that, so my number would have to pay for forty more good living years. What’s it going to cost per year of your life? That’s your number.If I say $100,000 a year for life, which doesn’t seem too greedy for my dream life, times forty years of living, that equals four million dollars. Maybe that’s why we don’t dream out loud more as we get older. Because those numbers sound too big. Unachievable. Pipe dream stuff.

This conversation is about letting go of what you think you are capable of achieving. Forgetting about what others think, and people you see on social media. It is about asking yourself: What really matters to me?

This is an extract of Chapter 1 from Vanessa’s new book. You can order it here

https://vanessastoykov.com.au/books/the-five-conversations-about-money-that-will-radically-change-your-life/