Helping Adult Children Without Risking Retirement
In this third episode of the first season of Flourishing After 50, financial educator and author Vanessa Stoykov explores a dilemma many parents face — whether to help their adult children buy a home and what it means for their own retirement security. Vanessa is joined by financial adviser Harry Moustakas from Navigate Advisory to unpack the story of Cathy and John, a couple in their late fifties considering whether to gift money or go guarantor on their daughter’s first property.
Case studies are illustrative. Images are AI-generated.
Meet Cathy and John
At 58, Cathy and John are proud homeowners with no mortgage. They’ve saved diligently but still feel retirement is a way off. Their 29-year-old daughter and her partner are desperate to buy a home, but their savings fall short of a deposit. Cathy and John want to help — but they worry about fairness between siblings and the real risks of putting their own financial security on the line.
Meet Harry
Harry Moustakas is a financial adviser at Navigate Advisory, with extensive experience guiding families through complex money decisions. He specialises in helping parents explore how to support their children without jeopardising their own retirement. Harry brings clarity to sensitive family conversations, balancing generosity, fairness, and long-term security.
Key Takeaways
Going guarantor is a legally binding risk — if repayments fail, your home may be on the line.
Gifting money has risks too — including straining family dynamics if you can’t do the same for other children later.
Protecting your retirement is not selfish — it’s essential to being able to help in the future.
Work with an adviser to test whether you can truly afford to help before committing.
"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
"It’s not about saying no — it’s about structuring any help so it doesn’t jeopardise your own plans."
"A big risk is fairness between siblings. If you help one child now but can’t help the other later, resentment can build."