September 7, 2022

R U OK About Money?

Author: Vanessa Stoykov
Category: Manage Finances

If the answer to that is no, you are not alone. Research shows that, “42% of the people who die by suicide were under financial stress”. Suicide Prevention Australia says that 70% more Australians have reported elevated mental distress levels, compared with this time last year. And more than 40% of those cited cost-of-living and personal debt levels as major factors in their distress.

If you have ever been through severe financial stress before, money fears tend to pervade a large part of your thinking in day-to-day life. They make the happy moments like being with your children, or spending time with friends less enjoyable, as you tend to be constantly having to plan out how the simplest of things will get paid for, let alone the big bills. This leaves you in a state of constant vigilance, which leads to mental exhaustion and despair. I have been there myself, and know the pervading sense of doom that money stress seems to inflict in your overall mindset, no matter how good your life might look on the outside.

If you are going through this, know that there is always a way forward.

It may not be easy, but there are ways you can connect with support that start to take away the pressure you are experiencing juggling all this in your own mind. If you really are a wits end, then a great place to call is the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007, who can help you identify what options you have. There are also a lot of other helpful tools and information on the government MoneySmart Website, where you can read about financial distress for small business, or even explore the options of bankruptcy.

Of all the options you have when it comes to money and mental distress, is you need to talk to someone. I don’t just mean a financial planner or counsellor (although that would be fantastic). Find someone you know that you respect, that you believe has good judgement, and tell them about your situation. While they may not even give you advice that changes your financial situation (unless you find a money minded person) what talking about it will do, is give you the opportunity to get it out of your head, and into the world.

The shame and taboo we hold around talking about money is one of the big reasons why so many of us are in distress.

Many of us hold our value as a person closely related to how much money we have. And social media certainly does not dispel that belief. But it can be liberating and life changing to talk about your current situation with those around you. Not from the perspective of ‘whinging’ but rather to share your burden and eventually start to see that talking gives your brain permission to go into problem solving as opposed to feeling discomfort and fear that pervades your life.

The only way out is to take action today. Forget what other people think about you, and start thinking about how you want to be thinking about your own life. What do you no longer want to tolerate? What are you willing to give up? Who is really going to go on that journey with you, and who should you leave behind?

There are all questions that only you can answer. But doing it alone is the harder path. So, open your mind and your mouth.  Have courageous conversations. Say things to people that make you uncomfortable and see what reaction you get. Talk to your parents, your kids, your business partner, or your life partner to get the ball rolling.

What do you have to lose?

I’ve been on a mission for more than a quarter of a century to get people to take a new perspective on their wealth potential. You can listen to my latest story to help you connect with the right mindset on my podcast here.

My new book, The Five Conversations about Money that will Radically change your Life contains scripts and thought bubbles for you to try your own money conversations with people in your own life. You can do this. You just have to start.

I care, and I will keep making stories to help you be inspired to reach your full potential.

Until next time and take care,


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  • From Kids Debit Card on Changing Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids

    The goal of the following article is to assist parents have meaningful conversations with their children about money and financial literacy by providing them with practical guidance and useful recommendations. The author discusses goal-setting, budgeting, saving, and investing, and offers advice on how to have these discussions with people of varying ages. The essay is informative and easy to read, making it a valuable tool for parents who want to teach their children about money.

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    • From admin on Changing Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids

      Thanks for your comments!

  • From Gale Pickles on It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

    So enjoyed this, I will share if that’s okay with you, many of my friends will benefit from your journey.
    Many Blessings for 2023

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    Hi all! This is a good site.

  • From David Horton on How Finfluencers are teaching millennials and Gen Z about money

    And once again the regulator finds a way to stop ordinary people from getting advice by placing high costs on people who do the right thing. If a finfluencer is actually trying to scam someone, it would not be hard to operate outside Australian jurisdiction.

    • From admin on How Finfluencers are teaching millennials and Gen Z about money

      They definitely have a place. People need advice and many are working on it to be more accessible. Watch this space!

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    It’s never too late to learn something new and to start all over again. Unless you’re dead, you can do it.

    • From admin on IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU

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Each day I wake up excited to inspire everyday people to open up and take control of their money, regardless of their history, goals, or savings amount. About Vanessa >>


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