Financial Planning After Divorce: Should You Keep the Family Home?

Divorce after 50 can turn your financial world upside down. One of the toughest questions you might face is whether to keep the family home. Even if the mortgage is nearly paid off, the real burden can come from the ongoing costs, maintenance, and emotional ties. If you’re stretched on one income and worried about your future, you’re not alone. Financial planning after 50 means rethinking what stability looks like; and sometimes, choosing yourself first.

1. Holding Onto the Family Home Out of Guilt

It’s normal to feel attached to the family home, especially when it’s full of memories and represents security for your children. But keeping a large house just to avoid feeling guilty, when your kids are already adults, can leave you financially and emotionally stretched. Guilt is a costly emotion that can stand in the way of your own security.

Real-Life Example:
Margaret, 56, stayed in her four-bedroom house after her divorce. Her grown children encouraged her to keep it “for the family,” but the cost of upkeep and constant repairs meant she was dipping into savings just to stay afloat. The guilt of selling felt overwhelming, but the financial pressure made daily life stressful.

How to avoid this mistake:

• Remember: your wellbeing matters. Security isn’t just about bricks and mortar; it’s about peace of mind.
• Talk openly with your children. Let them know why you’re considering a change.
• List out the real costs. Include maintenance, rates, insurance, and emotional toll.

2. Underestimating the True Cost of Home Ownership

It’s easy to focus on a nearly-paid-off mortgage and forget about the constant stream of bills: repairs, gardening, insurance, utilities, and council rates. On a single income, these costs add up fast and can eat into your retirement savings. If keeping the house means you’re always stressed about money, it may be time to reassess.

Real-Life Example:
Lisa, 52, found herself paying for every household job her ex-husband used to handle. What looked manageable on paper turned into never-ending expenses, leaving her worried about both her lifestyle and her future.

How to avoid this mistake:

• Track all home-related expenses for at least three months.
• Compare costs to potential alternatives like downsizing or renting.
• Use online calculators to see the impact on your long-term finances.

3. Ignoring Your Own Financial Future

Many people put everyone else’s needs above their own, especially after a family breakup. But staying in a house that drains your energy and resources isn’t sustainable. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential for your future security.

Real-Life Example:
Sarah, 59, delayed downsizing for years. By the time she sold her big home, property values had dipped and her savings had shrunk. She wished she’d acted sooner, for her health and her bank balance.

How to avoid this mistake:

• Visualise your ideal future, what does comfort look like for you in the next decade?
• Talk to a financial adviser for a clear view of your options.
• Remember: you get to decide what stability means now.

4. Not Seeking Professional Financial Advice

Emotional decisions about property are tough. A financial adviser can help you weigh up the costs, potential sale proceeds, and future lifestyle needs without the pressure of guilt or family opinions. Sometimes having an expert run the numbers makes all the difference.

How to avoid this mistake:

• Get independent advice, not just from friends or your ex-partner.
• Visit a trusted network of advisers for tailored support.
• Use free tools and calculators from reputable sources like MoneySmart.

Resources to explore:

• MoneySmart Home and Property guides at https://moneysmart.gov.au/
• I can help you find a trusted financial planner through my network of independent advisers. Visit vanessastoykov.com.au/financial-advice/ to learn more.

The Bottom Line: Prioritise Your Security

Putting your needs first after divorce isn’t just allowed, it’s smart. Downsizing or renting can reduce stress and free up resources for the life you want to build next. Your children’s stability doesn’t depend on you sacrificing your financial wellbeing.

• Keep the conversation open with your family about what you need.
• Let go of guilt, security for everyone starts with your own.
• Take action before stress or costs become overwhelming.

You deserve to feel secure and empowered in your next chapter. The right decision is the one that supports your wellbeing now and in the future.

Vanessa Stoykov | Courageous Conversations About Money