Month: June 2022

Mary didn’t want to admit that the drawcard for coming to tonight’s class reunion was to chance an encounter with her former chemistry lab partner and secret crush, Brock Jones.

Winning the high school talent show with his acoustic guitar and dulcet tones catapulted him well beyond the reach of ‘everyday’ Mary Jones back in high school. The cool kids nicknamed him ‘Brock-i-lee Jones’; it played on the name of a well-known celebrity at the time. From there, the stage name ‘Broccoli Jones’ was coined.

Mary had a crush on Brock well before he was a famous vegetable.

Brock had gone from local talent show winner to now avidly working in songwriting, performing on stage and was the guy writing a US songstress’ greatest hits. Tonight he was booked to perform and the venue was abuzz with excitement about him.

“I hear he’s driving an electric car, has an apartment overlooking the harbour, and he’s still got that killer smile and flowing chestnut mane of hair,” Mary overheard one of his other adoring fans gush.

And there he was. He stepped through the door, long coat flowing and guitar slung over his back. He made his way over to the group, looking every bit the rockstar they were waiting for. Some of the girls surrounded him and went in for hugs and sly kisses on his cheeks.

He said his hellos, and someone went off to get him a drink. With a lot of people around him, Mary didn’t think she’d even get a chance to say a proper hello. He was unreachable again, just like he was in high school. She decided to cut her losses and leave.

As she approached the door she heard his unmistakable greeting, “Hello, Mary-Lou.” It had been years since she’d heard him say her name, and it sent butterflies aflutter – a nervous sixteen-year-old all over again. “You weren’t going to leave without at least saying hello, were you?”

Those sea-green eyes still sparkled after so many years. “Hey Brock,” she replied, wanting to come across as if he wasn’t her sole reason for being there. Remnants of lipstick remained on his cheeks and a couple of smudges were visible on his collar too. Her breath sharpened as she thought of adding her own shade to his collection.

“So, you’re writing and playing music for a living – like you’d always dreamed,” she offered. Brock smiled, “You remember,” he reflected. Long before the talent show he’d confided in her that’s what he wanted to do in life but wasn’t all that confident he’d make it work. She had encouraged him to enter the competition, which had really set him on his path.

“And you were going to ….” And his words trailed off. “Yeah, I didn’t know,” she admitted coyly. “Do you know now?” he asked.

“I want to work in music therapy,” she began and then paused with a roll of her eyes. He leant forward to hear more from her. Mary explained she had severallevels of a course to complete, that would give her a much better job and pay, but some of the parts of the course didn’t feel relative to her, and her motivation had waned. Logically, Mary knew what she needed to do to move forward but contemplating all those assessments had held her back.

“Yeah, I wrote a lot of stuff I didn’t want to before now,” he offered, “but I did have help,” he conceded as a nod to her encouragement to him so long ago now. “Let’s see if this would work,” and he offered her a proposal.

Brock outlined that each week if Mary completed a module, he’d take her out for dinner. If she didn’t complete it, she had to take him out for dinner, and to a pricey restaurant indicative of the money she’d be earning if she had the new job.

Mary couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “Brock, are you,” she stammered a little taken aback, was he really proposing a series of dates?

“You’re not the only one with an unrequited high school crush, Mary-Lou,” he pursed his lips and looked down at Mary, “and sometimes you just have to feel the fear, do the talent show, ask out the pretty girl from chemistry, or take on the daunting study – change isn’t easy, but it can be worth it.” He delicately kissed her forehead and gave her a wink. “You’re going to stay for the show, right?”

Mary smiled and took in a deep breath – it was time to embrace change and take on the difficulty of those modules, and if that meant embracing Broccoli Jones as well, how hard could it be?

Psychological studies show we’re less incentivised for the ‘promise of money’ than we are actual cash in hand, or worse, the prospect of losing money. A penalty for non-completion of a task is more motivating than gaining a monetary reward in the future. If there’s a course or qualification that will earn you more money you may need additional motivation to see if through – doing something that aligns with your heart as well as your bank account may entice you enough to go for it!

References:
Thaler, R.H. & Sunstein, C.R. (2008) Nudge. London: Yale University Press
Hammond, C (2016), Mind over Money.

It’s a question that I have challenged myself with over the years. How do you ‘rip the Band-Aid’ of life off faster in order to make the changes you need to move forward. As the past few years have taught us, we need to be adaptable, able to pivot, make change quickly and get used to life shifting in ways you could never have imagined even a year ago. So how can you train yourself to be able to ‘roll with the punches’ and move into a positive space – in both your personal life, and your work life. And by training, I mean make deliberate decisions based on a clear strategy to optimise your own life. With your family, work, money, and most importantly, your contribution to the planet.

“As people, we all want to make a difference. It is hard wired into our DNA.”

For those we love, and all those who deserve love and everything that comes with that. But anybody knows you need to stabilise the core of any project, before you can make it work to its best potential. And at the core of all of us is need for personal fulfilment and the ability to live a life of meaning. Without it, we are just going from one deadline to another, and one life moment to the next, without any real context as to what’s it all about and where we are headed.

To make change easier to deal with and quicker to get over, I have learned that knowing your purpose, and moving through life in a way that is in harmony with that, helps make choices that lead to the best life outcomes.

Without it, life can feel like a grind. A weight to be carried, navigated and struggled through. While life will always hold challenges, the ability to minimise our struggle, and maximise our chance of success lies in identifying what really matters to us, then finding the fastest way to align with that. There are many people across the globe making major career decisions based on work flexibility and how much time they really want to spend working on things that no longer bring them joy.

From a workplace perspective, the winners are those organisations who have clearly defined their purpose, and align their teams with that. These are the companies that have an engaged and purpose filled workforce. So how do you learn from them, and apply those purpose led lessons to our own lives?

1. The best organisations invest in their people. They train them, expand their possibilities and show them a pathway to advancement. The same is needed in our own lives. How you can invest in yourself in a whole new way? Is it to invest in your health? Your mental wellbeing? Your finances? Reducing your stress levels? With every life decision comes uncertainty. But it can never be wrong to invest in you. At the core of everything, your wellbeing is the greatest predicator to success in your life.
2. Being consulted with and effectively communicated to, can make a real difference to success In business. So how clearly have you communicated to yourself what success really looks like for you? Do you even think about it enough to be able to communicate it? I have found time and again many people cannot articulate what their best possible future looks like. Without a picture of what you want your life to look like in 10 years, how can you make decisions today that get you there?
3. There is no surprise that organisations with diverse workplaces are more effective and enjoyable place to work. So how can you create more diversity in your own life? Do you actively try and meet new people that inspire you? Attend a seminar that might teach you something you never considered? If you don’t have diversity in the people influencing your life, it can be hard to find inspiration to keep growing.

“Improving your life, your happiness, your money and your future is within your control. It is not a fast process, nor an easy one. But it is something I believe that we all deserve and can achieve.”

If you haven’t had the chance to think about what your ideal future looks like, I have created some micro tools to get you on your way. It is an easy exercise designed to help you lay down what you really want on paper, and it doesn’t take long to get you thinking about the right approach. For those who want to try it, I have created a special code for this community. LIFE50 will get you 50% off the purchase price, as a special gift from me to help you reach your potential – for both your money and your life.

May your changes be great ones. Wishing you everything you deserve.

Vanessa